


to tell the truth (oh, this could be the last time)

by ohjeezthatsme



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Who Knows?, as she should at this point tbh, not josie bc baby j is having a lil breakdown, penelope comes back but does she?, so i made it sadder, so... im sorry, then it made me sad, this idea came to me and then i had to write it but then i made it sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27300754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjeezthatsme/pseuds/ohjeezthatsme
Summary: “Who’s there?”There’s a section of shadow that seems to deepen before Josie recognises a silhouette. She’s struck by that familiar feeling again. A flicker from the sconces on the walls throws their face into sharp relief and Josie feels faint.“Pen- Penelope?”-Josie is having a rough time after the whole dark magic/giving up her magic thing.It only gets worse when she starts seeing Penelope back in Salvatore.
Relationships: Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman
Comments: 22
Kudos: 151





	to tell the truth (oh, this could be the last time)

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
> 
> I came up with the idea for this a few days ago and knew I wanted it done by Halloween and so here we are.  
> The first person I sent this to responded with this:  
> What  
> THE FUCK  
> Bruh I am nearly in TEARS  
> I can't believe you would do this to me
> 
> So, y'know... take that for a warning i guess??? This will be Sad.

It’s been weeks since they were able to rescue Hope from the confines of her mind. Josie did most of the book work because she felt bad that she locked away her magic right when they really needed all hands on deck. 

When  _ Hope _ needed all hands on deck.

But she just couldn’t do it. After everything her magic had led to, all that her magic had  _ done... _ how could she risk it any longer?

She just couldn’t justify it and had to step back. The guilt still eats at her in the night when everything is quiet and sometimes she just can’t take it. 

Like tonight. It’s too much, lying there with the same self-recrimination and guilt swirling endlessly in her mind. So, she walks. She sneaks out of bed and then out of their room, doing her best to not disturb Lizzie. 

(When she’s there anyway. 

Ever since Lizzie dove in to anchor Hope back into the real world, she’s been spending more and more nights in the tribrid’s room. Josie recognises the signs but Lizzie seems happy and she’s not going to upset the balance her sister has finally found.)

So, she walks. Hoping that if she keeps moving, the darkness she can feel haunting her can’t catch up and drag her back down into the pit she has only just managed to claw her way out of. She keeps her routine to herself, not wanting to worry any of her friends. 

They’re concerned enough about her without her magic. Sure, they understand  _ why _ she did it but they’ve been borderline overprotective since they brought Hope back and Josie still refused to regain her magic. Telling them that to fight off her nightmares and lingering guilt, she sometimes paces the halls in the middle of the night, alone? A bad idea.

Nevermind that fact that she’s never run into a single person. She’s been doing this for weeks now and the school is empty except for her. Josie figures that the student body and even the staff are exhausted from the neverending stream of both monsters and drama. She knows she is. All she wants is to have one damn week where she doesn’t have to fight for her life or sanity.

“Josie…”

Josie freezes and screws her eyes shut. Her name echoes down the hall once more, strangled and soft. Her brow furrows, the voice familiar but too quiet for Josie to properly identify.

Everyone keeps asking her if she misses her magic and at this point, she does. If for nothing more than the fact that she never got to have special hand to hand lessons with her father. All of her self-defense knowledge revolves around the use of magic, which she no longer has access to. 

The best she can do is keep her back to the wall and cast suspicious glances at the shadows creeping along the walls. “Who’s there?”

There’s a section of shadow that seems to deepen before Josie recognises a silhouette. She’s struck by that familiar feeling again. A flicker from the sconces on the walls throws their face into sharp relief and Josie feels faint. 

“Pen- Penelope?”

And it is. Somehow, Penelope has found her way back to Salvatore without anyone knowing and she is now standing in right in front of Josie. She looks different though. Her hair is longer and her shoulders are hunched a little, nothing like the confident display Josie is used to.

“Penelope, what the hell are you doing here?” Josie hisses as she advances, “ _ How _ are you here?” 

Something is wrong about the way Penelope is looking at her but she just can’t put her finger on it. She’s just staring back at Josie but there’s no focus behind it, it’s like she’s looking right through Josie. A cold shiver runs down her spine and Josie’s anger at Penelope’s appearance wanes, replaced by a growing concern.

“Penelope?” At her name, Penelope’s eyes shift to her and her mouth twitches up at the edges. Josie wishes that the smile wasn’t as unnerving as her unfocused stare, “Pen, are you… are you okay?”

“It’s okay.” Her voice is quiet and distant. Josie moves closer, trying to figure out why she has a terrible feeling and why this all feels so  _ off _ . Penelope smiles at her again and it should be comforting but there’s just something unnerving about it. “It’s all going to be okay.”

Josie’s face crumples in confusion, “What? What does that even  _ mean? _ ”

At the same time, a door slams down the hall. Josie turns to the sound for a moment but the moment she looks back, Penelope has disappeared.

“Wha- Penelope!” She hisses quietly, looking around but there’s no sign of her, “Penelope! Where did you go?”

Josie moves closer to where Penelope was but there’s nowhere that she could have gone without having to pass Josie. It doesn’t seem possible for Penelope to have been there and somehow left without Josie seeing.

It’s just not possible.

Maybe the lack of sleep was finally getting to her and she just imagined the entire thing. It wouldn’t be beyond the realm of possibility for her to just imagine Penelope. It wouldn’t be the first time Josie had imagined her making some grand reappearance and sweeping her off of her feet.

There’s another sound down the hall, footsteps this time, coming down the halls towards her. With a last glance at the spot Penelope was in, Josie resigns herself to yet another night of tossing and turning with the added bonus of her now imagining her ex-girlfriend talking to her.

She hopes that it’s only a one time illusion. Just a result of too many sleepless nights and a trick of the light.

-

The next time, she's alone in her room. 

Everyone else is in class but Josie couldn't bring herself to get out of bed. Instead, she waves off Lizzie's hovering concern and draws the sheets up over her head. (She leaves a gap for the light to stream through, she's found that the dark makes her feel trapped lately.) She rips the sheets from her head when there's a subtle shift in the air. 

She's not alone.

And true to her senses, someone is leaning against her drawers. The bright early morning sun casts them in shadows but Josie has never needed to see her to know Penelope's presence.

“Penelope?” The name falls from her lips softly and Penelope’s lips jerk into a smile. Josie slowly sits up and draws herself to the edge of the bed. “How did you get in here…” As she says it, her eyes catch on the prism sitting pretty on her window sill and she trails off. 

Of course. 

Sure, the prism usually requires activation and, you know,  _ magic _ but at this point, who knows what rules do and don’t apply to this school and the artifacts it holds. It wouldn’t be the first time she’s gotten caught up in the projection, and Penelope draws her in more than Landon ever could have.

“You’re just a projection. Aren’t you?” 

The visage of Penelope doesn’t respond, just keeps looking at her. She doesn’t seem as distant this time. She looks at Josie and Josie doesn’t feel like she’s looking right through her. It’s still not quite right though. There’s just something unnerving about her stare and the jerky smiles.

“Why are you here? What could I possibly need to know about myself this time?” Josie knows she’s hurling accusations perhaps unnecessarily but she’s never been good at controlling her emotions when it comes to Penelope.

Penelope stays silent with that same crooked smile lingering on her face. Josie shoves herself off of the bed and marches to face the other girl. “Really? You’re not going to say  _ anything _ ?”

A deep fear creeps across Penelope’s face and Josie’s taken aback by the urgency in her voice, “Don’t tell!”

“‘Don’t tell’? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Penelope grabs her arm tightly. Josie can’t help her sharp gasp at both the tight, clawing grip and just how cold Penelope’s hand is. The urgency is overtaken by a desperate fear that immediately sets Josie on edge. “Don’t tell Josie!”

“Me?” She questions, soft with disbelief. Penelope says nothing and Josie’s anger swells, why does everyone always keep important truths from her? “You can’t tell me?”

Instead of desperately scared, Penelope just looks sad now. Her arm jerks like she wants to reach out but thinks better of it at the last moment, shaking her head and looking away. “Don’t tell Josie.”

“Why the hell not? What is happening, Penelope?!”

“It’s okay.” She promises and Josie can’t explain why she has the sudden urge to cry. Penelope reaches forward, gently catching Josie’s hand and twining their fingers together. “It’s all going to be okay.” 

Josie reaches up to cup a smooth cheek. She ignores the resulting shiver that runs down her arm from the cold skin. Her eyes flick between Penelope’s as if the answer was hiding somewhere within their emerald depths.

“Penelope… I don’t understand.” 

And  _ oh _ . She’s back to over a year ago, when they were in something of a similar position; Josie, wanting so badly for Penelope to just  _ stay  _ and explain and Penelope,  _ wanting _ but unable to do either.

Penelope just smiles like she knows exactly what Josie was thinking. She probably does, Josie hasn’t forgotten a single moment of that goodbye and from Penelope’s sad smile, she’d wager Penelope hasn’t either.

She raises a hand to cover Josie’s hand on her cheek, turning her face into her palm. Josie swears she feels the ghost of an icy kiss against her skin before Penelope turns sad eyes back on her. “Don’t tell Josie.”

And then she’s gone again.

Josie is once more left with tears in her eyes and her hand in the air, cupping the space where Penelope’s cheek used to be.

-

It’s after that when she decides to tell Lizzie. She just can’t keep it to herself anymore, it’s all becoming too much; the sleepless nights, the guilt, and now Penelope appearing and disappearing mysteriously? Josie can only handle so much, she’s only human now after all.

“Lizzie,” Lizzie hums noncommittally from her bed, “I think I’m seeing Penelope.”

Lizzie scoffs, still not looking up from the textbook she’s casually flicking through. “ _ No _ , you broke up with Penelope, she left, I celebrated, you most certainly  _ didn’t _ . And then you moved on with birdbrain, only to find out that he is as disappointing a boyfriend as he is in the general sense.”

She hadn’t been expecting immediate belief per say but Josie had not anticipated Lizzie to start off quite that strongly. “Not like that. I mean seeing her like,  _ physically _ .”

“Josie, I love you but I do not want to know anything about you and Penelope doing anything physically. Ever.”

“Wha- No!” Josie recoils at Lizzie’s quip, her reaction getting a snort of laughter from Lizzie. “Lizzie, I’m serious.” Just like Josie knew she would, Lizzie sobers up at her voice. It’s her serious, ‘we need to talk about this’ voice and usually only comes out for the particularly hard stuff. 

Like the first time their mum missed the holidays, when she first told Lizzie she was in love with Penelope, and when she got shot by Burr with the Malivore bullet and was dying. 

The voice means business and Lizzie knows it.

She immediately drops the book, sitting up and giving Josie her full attention. “Okay, I’m listening.”

Josie nervously fiddles with her fingers. She doesn’t know why telling Lizzie seems so gut-wrenching, it was her idea in the first place! It’s supposed to make this easier! 

She swallows past the lump in her throat and keeps her eyes on the hands in her lap, “I go walking at night sometimes - “

“Like, alone?” Lizzie interrupts, eyes wide with a protective anger that stirs and begins to raise it’s head, “What were you thinking!? We have no idea what monster is coming next or who it’s coming for and you don’t even have  _ magic _ -”

“I know!” Josie interrupts in a burst of frustration, “I  _ know _ that I don’t have magic, Lizzie. It’s all anyone wants to talk to me about.”

“Then why-”

“This isn’t about my magic. That’s not important.” Lizzie cocks a disbelieving eyebrow, prompting an angry huff from Josie. She knows that Lizzie's biggest concern, now that Hope is back, is returning Josie's magic but her magic isn't the thing keeping her up at night right now. 

"I saw Penelope. In the halls. Here.”

Lizzie shakes her head, immediately dismissing the notion, “That’s impossible. Penelope left, Jo." Her voice softens and Josie grinds her teeth to stop from snarling at the pitying look Lizzie gives her, “I know you didn’t want her to go but she did.” 

Lizzie avoids her eyes and her shoulders tighten and bunch; the key giveaway that Lizzie knows whatever she's about to say is going to hurt Josie more and that she wishes it wouldn't. She hesitates, reaching out to grasp Josie's hand before she continues reluctantly, “And I don’t think she’s coming back.”

“Then why do I keep seeing her!" 

To Josie's embarrassment, her voice cracks and breaks. She pulls her hand from Lizzie's and buries her face in her hands, taking ragged breaths in a futile attempt to control herself.

“What do you mean you keep seeing her, Josie?” Lizzie says, sounding scared. 

Josie shakes her head, she hasn't been able to think about anything else. The words rushing out of her as she tries to make sense of it all. “I keep seeing her and it’s her but it’s  _ not her  _ too. It’s weird, and confusing but she’s  _ here _ .”

“When did you see her?”

“The other night and yesterday morning.”

“You were sick yesterday morning.” Lizzie rationalizes, trying to wave off Josie’s certainty.

“I know what I saw.” Lizzie's lips thin and defensive anger sparks in Josie's chest, “I  _ felt _ her, Lizzie! She was here!”

“I believe you.” Josie waits, knowing from the hard glint in her eyes that Lizzie isn't done arguing yet, “But I also think that you’re also very tired and stressed. You might just be wanting something so badly that you’re…”

“Imagining it?” Lizzie winces at the bite in her voice and Josie smiles in grim satisfaction. “I’m not.”

“Okay.” Lizzie holds her hands up in surrender before tucking them into her lap and looking at Josie with a rare seriousness in her eyes and voice. "But Jo, I thought I was seeing Sebastian too."

"And Sebastian  _ was  _ real." Josie argues. She knows that she just walked straight into a trap at Lizzie’s tight smile that holds no joy.

"He was," She agrees lightly, "He was also bad news."

Josie shakes her head, flatly refusing to entertain Lizzie’s implication. “Penelope isn’t.”

Lizzie lets out a bark of laughter. “Isn’t she? Josie, you are still recovering from everything that happened. You’re not sleeping and now you’re seeing your ex-girlfriend in the room with you when she's on the other side of the world.”

Josie lifts her chin and pushes her shoulders back, adopting the same bullish posture Lizzie uses to scare people off. If Lizzie is going to make an accusation, she’s going to have to say it. Josie’s not going to make it easier for her.

Lizzie knows it too, bowing her head with a burdened sigh. “Josie. I’m worried about you.”

Josie is worried too. She knows that it’s concerning, that Lizzie is probably right to be worried, if Josie were in her position she would be too. But at the same time, Penelope was there. 

She was  _ real _ and Josie knows that too.

“It’s her, Lizzie. I’m not making it up.” She says steadily, not wavering in the face of Lizzie’s skepticism.

Lizzie says nothing at first, just sits back and gauges Josie’s stalwart determination. She obviously sees that she won’t win Josie over and concedes with a dramatic sigh. “Fine.”

She points a stern finger at Josie before she can get too excited, “But we’re calling in the scooby gang and we’re going through everything we can find until we figure this out.”

The relief overwhelms her and Josie surges forward to wrap Lizzie in a fierce hug. “Thank you, Lizzie.”

Lizzie clings back just as fiercely, “Don’t thank me yet. I will tear that library apart until we figure this out.”

Josie laughs but she knows Lizzie isn’t kidding.

-

And Lizzie really wasn’t.

She has devoted herself to reading every scrap of information about various projections or anything that would explain Josie’s problem. She stormed right out of their room to drag everyone into the library and immediately put them to work. She hasn’t stopped yet and it’s been nearly four days of nonstop research.

(Josie’s seen Penelope every night but she hasn’t told Lizzie, she seems stressed enough as is. She spends every night in their room now, like she’s scared that if she leaves Josie alone that she’ll walk off into the night and disappear too.)

Josie’s pretty sure Landon is drooling into his designated encyclopedia and from the filthy glares Lizzie is shooting him, she knows it too.

“Lizzie,” Hope calls from her Lizzie assigned seat next to Josie, which is a story in and of itself.

(Lizzie drags Hope over by her hand and forcibly sits her next to Josie, they both look up at her with twin looks of affronted confusion.

“Until we figure out what is happening, I’m not taking any chances with your safety.”

Josie frowns, affronted at the idea that she needs protecting. “I don’t need a  _ bodyguard _ .”

Lizzie isn’t having a bar of it. “And until I can confirm that, Hope stays right next to you.”

Lizzie steamrolls right over Josie’s loud noise of protest. “Hope stays.” 

Hope, who had been trying to make herself small enough to disappear while they argued over her head, finally gives a half hearted attempt of protest, “Lizzie-”

Lizzie gives her a fierce look that has her shrinking back into her chair. When she speaks, there’s a dark promise of retribution if her orders aren’t followed. “Hope. Stays.”

Hope stays.)

Lizzie grunts to show she’s listening without breaking from her text and Hope tries again with a roll of her eyes, “Lizzie!” 

Josie is impressed by Hope’s courage because with how wild Lizzie’s eyes have started to look today, she would not be calling her attention onto herself. 

Lizzie pulls herself from her text with a sharp snarl, “What!”

Hope stands her ground, impressing Josie again. “We need to take a break.”

The idea is shot down immediately and with great force. “We had a break four hours ago, we need to finish this.”

“We’ve been doing this for days. We need to stop, rest and then try again.”

Josie’s head tilts as she watches them build to the inevitable argument. They are probably the two most stubborn people she knows, but they also care the most about their family and friends. 

“And what if it attacks while we’re resting? What then?” The naked fear on Lizzie’s face breaks Josie’s heart and she sees the hesitant quiver in Hope’s lip before she steels herself.

“If  _ what  _ attacks, Lizzie? We have no idea what we’re facing here!”

“You think that I’m just going to, what?  _ Give up _ on Josie?” Lizzie slams her hand on the desk as she propels herself out of her seat, Hope following quickly.

“No!” Hope rounds the table to stand in front of Lizzie. Josie doesn’t know how that will help because they’re both gesticulating wildly enough that losing an eye is a valid fear. “That’s not what I’m saying! All I’m saying is-”

Josie sneaks out while they’re too caught up in their argument to notice the existence of anyone else. She figures it will be at least a half hour before they pause for breath. Hope was right, she just needs a break. 

A break from everything that has been weighing her down for the past few days; the looks Lizzie gives her when she thinks Josie can’t see- full of a deep terror and desperation, the pitying glances from everyone and the hushed whispers that stop when she enters the room because they all think Josie is just desperate enough to  _ imagine _ up her ex-girlfriend.

“It’s all going to be okay.”

God fucking dammit.

Josie covers her ears and barely holds in the scream building in her chest. She just wants five minutes - _ five fucking minutes _ \- where she isn’t worried about whether the dark magic was too much and now her mind is broken. Five minutes where she’s peacefully - mercifully-  _ alone _ .

If she didn’t know any better, Josie could convince herself that the Penelope in front of her is just a trick of the light. Even Penelope, standing in the corner and shrouded in the shadows, doesn’t seem real anymore. She seems like she had the first time Josie saw her, eyes distant and unfocused with dark circles ringing them.

Unfocused eyes that only stare blindly through Josie and she hates it. Hates how she seems to be so easily undone by a barely visible projection of Penelope that doesn’t even have the decency to look at her. The simmering anger- at herself, at Penelope, Lizzie and Hope even, at this entire situation - finally bubbles over. 

She will never admit it, doesn’t even acknowledge it consciously herself, but the real tipping point was just the blankness on Penelope’s face. A part of her just rails against the idea that Penelope can come in and throw her life into such disarray and then feel nothing about it.

Josie lets out an intelligible growl at Penelope’s expressionless face. She opens her mouth to unleash the stream of ugly words growing from the anger in her chest, but Penelope interrupts her with a desperate urgency.

“Don’t tell Josie!”

Josie stills in a terrifying calm before her face twitches, betraying the rage thundering through her.

The words repeat in her head like a warped record. She can’t hear anything else over the roaring in her ears and all she can see is how Penelope still isn’t looking at her but through her.

“No! You don’t tell Josie fucking  _ anything _ , do you!” 

She takes a snarling step forward but it still has no effect on Penelope. She remains in the shadows, looking past Josie, her face twisted like she wants to be scared but has forgotten how. 

“All you ever do is just  _ lie to me _ ! About everything!” 

Josie couldn’t stop herself even if she wanted to at this point. In a distant corner of her mind that is yet to be bathed in a red haze of rage, she remembers that she’s supposed to be sneaking about, not screaming at what very well could be a figment of her magical imagination.

“You say that you’re ‘protecting me’ but really, you’re just making this worse, Penelope!” Josie takes a gasping breath, rage beginning to give way to the hurt and pain underneath it. “Why can’t you see that? How much you’re hurting me by appearing and disappearing and never telling me  _ anything! _ ”

The rawness of her voice hangs in the air between them with everything else that they have left unsaid. All of the pain and the lies and the tears and screams, all left filling the air between them until Josie can’t see past it to see Penelope anymore. Or maybe it’s just the tears in her eyes.

She wipes under her eyes, flinging the tears away carelessly. She buries her face in her hands, “Penelope.... What am I supposed to do? I don’t- I…” She looks up at Penelope wearily, shrugging helplessly. “I don’t know what to do anymore, Penelope. I really don’t.”

“Josie?”

Her head snaps up and wide eyes lock on Penelope but it couldn’t have been her. Firstly, the voice came from behind her and secondly, she knew that voice as well as she knew Lizzie’s.

“Mum?” 

Josie rubs at her eyes, convinced that she’s imagining people once again. Caroline doesn’t look like herself, grief hides in the lines of her face and there’s a heavy guilt anchored in the downturn of her mouth that Josie has only ever associated with Hope.

(It’s the guilt that comes from believing your failure caused the death of someone you cared about.)

But why would she only look like that now? The last time Josie saw her mum, she was tired, yes but not defeated. Never defeated. But now she’s here and she looks… Josie just doesn’t understand it. “What are yo-”

“You’re talking to Penelope?” Caroline interrupts her as if she never heard her in the first place, eyes focused intently.

Josie frowns at the question, closing her eyes against the last few stubborn tears clogging her throat. “It’s not really her. It’s probably just some-”

“What is she saying?” Her mother cuts her off again, blurring forward until she’s suddenly in front of Josie, hands gripping her shoulders tightly with a frenzied look on her face. Her eyes dart to every darkened corner as if she could catch a glimpse of Penelope if only she could find the right shadow. “Where is she?”

Josie valiantly fights the urge to flinch back as the fear bolts through her. Her focus flits between Caroline’s eyes, searching for a reason, an explanation, of what was happening.

“...Mum?” She tries tentatively, her fear giving the slightest tremble to her voice. But that tremble is enough for vampire ears and they both know it.

Caroline drops her head down and all Josie can see is the unsteady rise and fall of her shoulders, the sound of a rattling breath echoes in the silence. The swirling feeling of  _ wrong _ in her chest gets heavier with every passing second.

The hands holding so tightly to her shoulders release and Josie takes a stutter step back. Caroline raises her head and Josie tries to hold in her gasp as she carefully takes her in. 

The guilt that she could see from across the room was far more all encompassing up close, carving itself into lines on an ageless face. Her shoulders are slumped under the invisible weight of yet another loss, yet another burden for her to carry through the years until it too becomes second nature like all the others before it.

“How do you talk to her?” Her voice is a raw whisper, words forced through the choke of emotions.

Josie shakes her head, shoulders lifting into a half hearted shrug. “I don’t know, she just appeared one night and started talking.  _ I _ didn’t do anything.”

“What did she say?”

“The same thing she always does. That it’s okay, she’s okay, and to not tell me.” Even the memory of the words has her frustration building but they clearly mean something else to her mother.

“Mum, what…” 

Josie trails off as Caroline covers her face with her hands, driving the heel of her palms into her eyes. That heavy feeling of  _ wrong _ has moved, settling into her heart and letting its weight drag her down. Josie desperately straightens her spine, as if standing taller and stronger will change what a quiet, devastated part of her already knows is coming

“What happened?” 

She doesn’t even recognise her own voice. It couldn’t have been her, this voice is too quiet, too full of a terrible knowing. This is the voice of someone who can feel their world beginning to crumble but knows they can’t stop it, so it can’t possibly be Josie’s voice because everything in her world is fine. 

It’s all going to be  _ fine _ . Not  _ okay, _ but fine.

Her mother is crying. She stares at her dumbly, her conviction abandoning her as her mind works frantically. Her mother is crying and all Josie can think about is how there was one explanation that she dismissed completely because of how implausible it was. 

“Mum?” Lizzie’s here now.

It’s impossible. She’s wrong. There’s no way.

“Headmistress Forbes?” Hope too.

Josie’s just imagining things because the alternative is just not possible.

“What’s happening here?” Lizzie and Hope are obviously both confused, Hope being the first to break the tense silence. Josie doesn’t even register their words, too busy fighting the idea that’s trying to plant it’s poisonous roots in her head.

“Mum.” Her voice sounds far stronger than she feels. Clear and concise. Not a hint of the maelstrom within her. Not a sign of how her mind is fixating on all of the passages she read, all of the hints, the indications that she ignored all along because it’s just  _ not possible. _

But her mother is crying. 

Her mother is crying and Penelope is still not there when Josie turns to look and it can’t be right. It just can’t be. Because it’s been weeks since Penelope appeared that first time and so it’s got to be wrong. If it were true, she would have known. She would have felt it.

A broken sob tears from her throat. She would  _ know _ .

“What happened to Penelope?” She begs without shame, begging for her mum to tell her what she wants to hear; that everyone is fine, they’re all coming back home and the worst is over now.

“It’s okay.”

She can’t bring herself to turn to the voice. She knew it would happen this time, had felt it like a light tug when Penelope would have materialized. She can hear it in her voice, the acceptance, the  _ regret _ and the pain and she just can’t look at her to confirm it. She can’t.

“Holy shit!” 

Lizzie’s shocked scream barely registers but it’s something for Josie to focus on that isn’t going to split her world in two. Lizzie’s shock quickly turns to fury as she advances on the corner with a sharply pointed finger, “You sadistic, satanic asshole! Do you have any idea how-”

“Lizzie,” The look on Hope’s face is enough to rip another sob from Josie’s throat. “She won’t answer you.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because,” Josie has spent  _ months _ wishing for her mother’s voice but now she doesn’t want to hear a thing. If no one says it then it isn’t real. Her eyes open to see the same devastation she feels reflected back at her from her mother’s face. “Ghosts can only repeat their last conversation.”

Something breaks in her. She felt it grow brittle and watched the cracks appear during the whole dark magic thing but it’s broken now. Shattered, really. She doesn’t even know what part of her just broke because her brain is just refusing to accept anything. She’s just shut down.

Josie doesn’t know how to do this. She doesn’t know what to do with all of this grief and pain that settles over her like a new skin. There isn’t a single part of her that feels untouched by it, spared from the cruel and biting loss of it all.

It can’t be real. It’s  _ not _ real. This is all just some elaborate joke that Penelope has concocted to make Josie realise her strength or something equally stupid and selfishly selfless. And she’s going to turn around and Penelope is going to be there, and she’s going to be  _ real  _ and  _ alive _ and Josie will scream at her but they’ll still be so in love that it won’t matter.

She turns.

It’s real.

The cry that comes from her doesn’t even sound human. Her knees fail her, buckling and she’d crash to the ground if it weren’t for the arms suddenly holding her up. Distantly, she recognises it as her mother holding her up but Josie can’t focus on anything other than the girl in front of her.

Penelope doesn’t look the same. She doesn’t even look the same as she did before Caroline arrived. Josie feels the guttural scream tearing it’s way up her throat when she realizes what the difference is.

Penelope looks dead.

She looks as pale as she had that first night, Josie had dismissed it as a trick of the light but now she knows the awful truth. That’s not all though, it’s not even the worst part. No, the worst part is the traces of blood she can see trailing from Penelope’s nose and ears. It looks like she overextended her magic before…

Josie can’t finish the thought. It’s like her mind is trying to protect itself and refusing to acknowledge it.

Penelope is looking straight at her. There’s a clarity to her eyes that hasn’t been there since she started appearing. Her face crumples, watching helplessly as Josie sobs, before she smooths it into a brave mask.

“It’s all going to be okay.” Penelope’s gentle smile is strained with the effort it's taking to disguise her own pain but it still has Josie’s heart skipping.

She steps free of her mother’s arms and moves to Penelope, the closest they’ve been since this all started and yet she’s never felt further away. Whatever has just happened with Penelope, it’s like she’s actually there now. There’s no more stiff and jerky movements. 

When she gives Josie a crooked, broken smile, it’s as fluid as the one she gave when she left a year ago. 

(Josie can’t decide whether or not that’s a good thing.)

Unable to help herself, Josie reaches out to touch Penelope in a last ditch effort. It worked for her before, and there’s a part of her that thinks that if she can just hold her tight enough, she can bring her back home.

Her hand passes right through Penelope’s. The only sensation is just a lingering iciness. A strangled cry rips itself from deep in her chest and she tries again and again and again, each attempt as fruitless as the last.

Penelope’s hand moves so that it’s hovering millimetres from her cheek. Close enough that Josie can feel the lack of warmth, of anything, really. Penelope looks like she’s crying but there’s no tears or sobs, just an agonised look and pain written plainly across her face.

“Pen-” 

“Tell Josie.” 

Penelope’s voice is stronger than Josie thought it would be. And it’s so similar to those cursed words that have been haunting Josie for months that she doesn’t even see it at first.

How Penelope is fading.

It doesn’t take long though. Her eyes are constantly looking Penelope over, trying to find something to hold her, to keep her here, so she sees it quickly. How Penelope’s legs are looking less and less solid, how it spreads slowly up her body. 

“What? No, Penelope, stop.” 

Her shoulders are disappearing now too, it’s spreading down her arms. Josie grabs desperately at the hand next to her cheek, fruitlessly trying with all of her might to will it into real flesh. 

“What’s happening? I don’t understand, you can’t-”

Penelope just shakes her head with that same broken smile. It reaches into Josie’s chest and just  _ tears _ . “It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.”

“No, no. Come on, Penelope!” The pleading words are weighed down with her tears of desperation. Josie rails helplessly against the inevitable end to this but she can’t stop. She can’t give up.

Penelope’s jaw fades. The edges of her mouth are next, that smile etching itself into Josie’s heart. And through it all she keeps her eyes on Josie, so much love shining out of them that Josie feels like she can’t breathe.

(So much pain that she wishes she couldn’t.)

Just before her mouth fades away, Penelope takes her last chance. “Tell Josie I love her.”

Her eyes fade last, all of that love staring at her until the end.

Oh _ , _ how Josie screams.

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to write a happy ending version of this but then I got talked into making it sad af instead


End file.
